Increase Success with Women Through a Shift in Mindset

Women have got it made, if you ask me. All they have to do is sit back, look pretty, play hard to get, and reject guys who approach one by one.

Wait just a minute, “reject guys who approach one by one?” Which caveman rolled over and gave women the power to decide whether a man is acceptable or not? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying women should just accept every man who approaches them with open arms (there’s too many weirdoes for that). I am saying, however, that men should recognize we have the same power to accept or reject women, and we should start exercising this right starting NOW. Repeat after me, “I evaluate women to see if they meet my expectations, not the other way around.”

A Shift in Mindset

This is perhaps the most empowering mindset shift you can have if you want to increase your success with women. The belief, “I am evaluating HER to see if she is good enough for ME, not the other way around,” will change the way you act, reduce your fear of interacting with women, and will make you a more attractive individual.

As I stated in my article “Getting to know your inner-self”, our beliefs directly influence our actions. If you believe, “I have to impress this girl, and prove myself to her so she will like me,” your actions will be dictated by this belief, and your insecurity and neediness will shine through. If, instead, you believe, “I am evaluating this girl to see if she is good enough for me, she must prove herself to me,” your actions will be dictated by this belief, and your security and selectiveness will shine through. You can guess which mindset will lead to your increase in success with women.

All men, no matter how experienced, feel fear when approaching women. It is hard-wired into our nervous system, and it’s something which cannot be avoided. Men who approach and succeed are the men who act in spite of this fear. Now, if you have a needy mindset in which your success is tied to whether or not this specific girl chooses you, it will be hard to act in spite of fear. If, instead, you can reframe this mindset and realize that you too have the power to be selective with women, you will walk through the fear because no matter what, your success is independent of the situation.

Sometimes women remind me of big, bad Rottweilers, waiting to pounce on any unsuspecting man if he displays fear or insecurity. Women are extraordinarily good at picking up on these vibes. No, they aren’t psychic. When interacting with women, we men wear our fear and insecurity on our sleeve so everyone can see.

Before you decide to give up because we are dealing with seemingly psychic beings, understand we can use these circumstances to our advantage. If women are so used to sensing men’s fear and insecurity, how do you think they will react if you aren’t giving off those vibes? That’s right; you will automatically be sorted into the “one of a kind” column. This is exactly where you want to be, because the level of attraction she will be feeling for you at this point will be very high. After all, you are one of the few men she has ever met who isn’t intimidated by her good looks.

See what a simple shift of mindset can do for you?

Being Selective

The whole premise behind this mindset is selectivity. You are now becoming the selector, not the selected. I want you to close your eyes, and imagine a world in which you have the power to choose any woman you want to be with at any time. Yes, it’s a wonderful world to live in. The truth is this world doesn’t have to remain a fantasy; it can become your reality.

Part of our theory of selectivity relates to my article “Gain People’s Respect”. Once you have adopted our mindset of “I evaluate women to see if they meet my expectations, not the other way around,” you must choose to raise your standards. You must be particularly picky. Maintaining this mindset will increase your choice of women ten fold, so you can’t possibly have time to entertain all the women who are attracted to you. Just as physically attractive women have to reject men who don’t meet their expectations for the sake of time, you must begin to do the same. You should be able to look past the physical features of any woman, and be able to see her for who she really is. From here, you can filter out women who don’t suit your taste accordingly, and save yourself a lot of time.

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a physically attractive girl (by luck, intoxication, or otherwise), you know the physical attraction doesn’t hold weight for long. Sure, you may have sex every day because you are so physically attracted to each other, but aside from this, there is no substance to the relationship (yes, there is a way to improve upon sex every day). Don’t settle for this type of relationship. There are plenty of women out there (3 billion to be exact). There is bound to be at least a few (a couple of million) whom you find physically attractive and are able to share a deeper connection with.

When interacting with a specific woman, maintaining our selective mindset of course, ask yourself a few questions. What makes her tick? How developed is her identity? How emotionally stable does she seem? Am I feeling chemistry? Does she meet my standards? What do I find attractive about her OTHER than her looks? By asking these questions, you are choosing to look past her physical appearance, and are evaluating her on a deeper level. We are aiming to improve the quality of our women, not the quantity of our women; and this is exactly how to ensure we accomplish this goal.

Take-away Points

Remember, it’s not only women who can be selective with men. You too can be selective with women. You’re an interesting guy, you’ve got a lot going for you, and you have high standards, so why are you letting yourself be the selected? You deserve better, you deserve to be the selector. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Approach each woman with the mindset, “I evaluate women to see if they meet my expectations, not the other way around”
• Be especially picky when selecting which girl is right for you, otherwise you will be wasting time realizing your girls don’t meet your expectations (having only a physical relationship, nothing deeper)
• It is critical we choose to look past the physical appearance of a girl, and evaluate her based on who she is, not what she looks like (assuming she’s initially met our criteria in the looks area)
• Keep telling yourself you are an interesting, attractive man; give yourself permission to be selective
• Continue to develop your talents, and continue to learn new skills in order to make yourself a more interesting man
• More clearly define your standards so the quality of women in your life improve, not only the quantity of women in your life

As usual, it will take some time for this mindset to work for you (no such thing as a quick fix). Be patient. Usually if it’s not working for you at first, it’s because you don’t truly believe the belief. Constantly reinforce the new belief in your mind through repetition. I guarantee you will see results in due time. Soon enough, you will be living in a world in which you can choose any woman you want, at any time. Your fantasy will now become your reality.

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