Build Character

“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wings. Only one thing endures and that is character.”
- Horace Greeley

Stop. Take a few moments to evaluate your character. How would you describe yourself? Are you courageous? Generous? Arrogant? Manipulative? Optimistic? Pessimistic? Resilient? Judgmental? Hateful? Loyal? Haughty? Humble? Easygoing? Respectful?

The words listed above are specific characteristics. If you were to compile a comprehensive list of your own characteristics, you would be looking at a mirror image of yourself. Take a moment to create your own list, and hold on to it. We will be using it as a point of reference later on in the article.

Evaluate Your Character

Character defines who we are. When we judge someone else, we judge them based on character. For example, when someone opens their mouth and something illogical comes out, many of us write the person off as unintelligent or “slow”. When someone always seems to do the right thing, we classify him/her as noble. When someone is constantly negative, we consider him/her pessimistic. These judgments occur in an instant, and whether they are right or wrong, they influence how we feel about a person.

If we are so quick to judge others based on character, why do so many of us fail to judge ourselves based on our character? We get caught up in what others think of us, or we lie to ourselves and convince ourselves we’re something we’re not. Many of us judge ourselves based on our accomplishments, yet fail to question our integrity and honesty in achieving these accomplishments. Instead of being so quick to judge others, take a look in the mirror and evaluate yourself. Perhaps you will see something you weren’t expecting. You may realize it’s time to make a few changes.

“The Guy in the Glass”

There’s a poem I read a couple of weeks ago which sums up the importance of character.

When you get what you want in your struggle for wealth,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum,
And think you’re a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.

As described in the poem, at the end of the day the only person you have to answer to is yourself. How do you make sure the guy/gal in the glass is always satisfied with who you are?

The key is to make sure you have done nothing that unsettles your subconscious mind. As described in my previous post, at the center of your being you know who you are and you know what you want. I firmly believe we humans are good natured at our core, and that our good nature is deeply rooted in our subconscious mind. However, sometimes people get so far off track in their lives that their true nature gets buried at the bottom of their subconscious mind. This would explain why there are murders, thieves, rapists, and other criminals in our society today.

We take action and make decisions based on our character. If you are arrogant, selfish, and disrespectful, when you look in the mirror you’re not going to be happy with what you see. If, instead, you are generous, loving, and respectful, when you look in the mirror you will be happy with what you see. We can describe this satisfaction as “peace of mind”. To illustrate what I mean, here’s an example from my own life.

My father has reached a state of contentment and peace of mind. Whenever I ask him how he reached this state of mind, his answer is always the same. “I’ve lived my life in such a way that when I put my head down on my pillow, my mind is absolutely clear. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” He’s a man of integrity, honesty, responsibility, and respect. He has managed to develop these characteristics over the past 55 years, and as a result he is content and at peace with himself.

Similarly, I have been striving to mold myself into an individual who is capable of experiencing “peace of mind”. As I become more courageous, trustworthy, responsible, mature, educated, and loving, I’ve realized a shift towards serenity in my life. Whenever I look in the mirror nowadays, I find myself much happier and much more content with the person I am than I was a few months ago.

Develop High Character

Look at the list you compiled a few minutes ago. As you read each of your characteristics, ask yourself if the trait you’re looking at contributes to your peace of mind, or if it takes away from it. Does the trait bring positive energy to you and this world, or does it bring you and others down?

If you are completely honest with yourself, you will see a few of these negative characteristics as you scroll down your list. This is perfectly normal and quite fixable. The first step in developing a high quality character is the ability to acknowledge your flaws. Once you’re aware of them, you can begin the process of changing them.

Now that you’ve identified your disempowering characteristics, you must decide what you want to replace them with. Here are a few examples to get you started:

• Arrogance transforms into humility
• Self-centeredness transforms into loving and contributory
• Insulting transforms into complimentary
• Pessimist transforms into optimist
• Unappreciative transforms into gracious
• Spiteful transforms into forgiving
• Argumentative transforms into agreeable

We humans have the amazing ability to transmute negative energy into positive energy simply by shifting our thoughts. By compiling a comprehensive list of your characteristics, you are raising your awareness towards your character flaws. The next time these flaws rear their ugly heads, you will have the power to consciously replace them with the actions of their empowering substitutes. Keep this awareness up for a month, and what you’ll find is that some positive transformations have taken place.

I’ve found it’s better to pay close attention to one characteristic at a time. You can try to devote your attention to all of the traits you would like to change at one time, but it might not be as effective. Aim for gradual change, this way you will avoid feeling overwhelmed. For the first 30 days, it will take a considerable amount of focus and willpower to replace your old, negative characteristics with new, empowering ones. However, once you get past this initial stage it will be smooth sailing. Stick with it!

Observe the People Around You

I learned an exercise a while back that has proven to be greatly beneficial in my own character development. Give it a try.

• Write down the names of 3 people you despise (or dislike)
• Write down the traits you despise most about these three individuals
• Write down the names of 3 people you admire
• Write down the traits you admire most about these three individuals

The traits you wrote down about the people you despise the most are characteristics that constitute your “dark side”. They are a part of your character, and subversively influence your actions and decisions. At first I didn’t believe this to be true; however, I soon learned after doing this exercise that the above statement was remarkably accurate. If you can observe the negative traits in others, the traits are also certainly inside of you.

The traits you wrote down about the people you admire most are traits you love about yourself, but that you are repressing. These are traits which could become your greatest strengths if you acknowledge them as a part of you, and choose to develop them.

When I did this exercise a while back, I found I admired courage, modesty, and self-confidence. At the time, I was repressing these traits. I have since embraced them as characteristics of myself trying to burst out from within. The results have been remarkable. I feel as though I discovered a new path of growth. Each step I take along the way is extremely rewarding.

As you can see, doing this exercise can provide you with a great deal of insight. You can easily identify those characteristics within you would consider flaws, and discover those characteristics within you that you would consider empowering. The next time you notice yourself looking down at someone; realize the characteristic you are looking down at is also a part of who you are. The next time you find yourself admiring someone; realize the characteristic you’re admiring is also within you, waiting to be acknowledged and set free.

A Lifelong Journey

Building character is definitely a lifelong journey. There will always be some part of your character you can develop to the next level. As you make progress in this area, you will notice the quality of your life is constantly improving. Your reality is increasingly generous towards you. More opportunities arise, people are nicer to you, and the environment is more favorable for your success.

No matter who you are today, understand that tomorrow doesn’t have to be like yesterday. Don’t let your past dictate the present and the future. Make the choice to develop your character today. Make that guy in the glass happy!

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