In no way is this meant to sound like a boast, but I’m pretty sure it’ll come off as one anyways.

My greatest talent is my ability to quickly conquer challenges, no matter how difficult they may be, and obtain the results I desire while doing so every time.

Okay, now that I’m done boasting, I’ll shift into selfless mode and share my sure-fire success formula with you. I’ve used this formula to ace countless exams while in college, become an expert in the field of women and dating, become a strong poker player in a short amount of time, and advance leaps and bounds in my spiritual development.

No matter the specifics of your particular challenge (acquiring a new skill, squeezing out an incredible performance in a short amount of time, gaining control over a chaotic area of your life, etc.) apply this formula and I’m confident you’ll achieve the results you desire every single time.

Without further ado, here’s the formula.

1. Cultivate a Burning Desire for Success

This is the first and most important step of the formula. Without a burning desire for success, you won’t have the fuel necessary to stick to your guns when the going gets tough, and will give up way too easily. You won’t want it bad enough.

With a burning desire for success, however, your drive will become even stronger when facing potential obstacles. Rather than stopping you, these obstacles will serve as additional fuel for your burning desire once you’ve overcome them. There’s no better way to boost your self-confidence than to prevail in spite of all the obstacles that stand in your way.

I absolutely love to cultivate a burning desire for success by deliberately putting myself in tremendously tough situations. When I was still in college, I would purposely never go to class, and would wait until a few days before an exam to start studying for it. I thrive under pressure, and there’s nothing I love more than facing a seemingly impossible challenge. I knew that by intentionally putting myself in the tough situation described above, I would cultivate the burning desire for success necessary to ace any exam thrown my way.

Over the past few years, channeling my frustration has been another great method I’ve used to stoke my burning desire for success. Three years ago, I was extremely frustrated with my dating situation. I felt like I had no control over my dating life, and had no selection when it came to women. If I was lucky, a girl may have looked my way once or twice. I hated that I had to rely on chance to land the girl of my dreams.

As this frustration built up, I became more and more motivated to change my bleak dating situation. Finally my frustration reached its flash point, and a raging wildfire suddenly ignited within. I decided I was going to become a master with women and dating, and nothing was going to stop me.

While these two methods of cultivating my burning desire for success have worked for me, they may not work for you. Different methods work for different people, and the key is to identify the method that works best for you.

Ask yourself, what does it take for you to really start wanting something? Look to your past and identify those times when you wanted something really bad, and figure out how this desire started in the first place.

Did you want to prove to yourself that you were capable of achieving something great?

Did you want to prove to others that you were capable of doing something incredible?

Were you highly unsatisfied with the quality of an area of your life?

Did having your back against the wall in a pressure situation motivate you?

2. Decide You’ll Do Whatever it Takes to Get the Results You Desire

By deciding to do whatever it takes to obtain the results you desire, you’re almost guaranteeing your success before you even get started. Understand you can only fail when you throw in the towel, and that whatever obstacles you experience along your path to success will yield to stern resolve. Therefore, failure is not an option.

I’ll admit, it’s challenging to adopt this mindset under normal circumstances. But these are not normal circumstances, my friend. Your burning desire for success will be RAGING so uncontrollably that you’ll have no problem believing that your success is inevitable.

Here’s an awesome quote to illustrate the mindset you need to have:

“Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does not change his mind.”

- Leonardo Da Vinci

I’m pretty sure we can agree that Da Vinci was a wise man. You’d be just as wise to acknowledge that no matter how challenging the path to success may seem, your unshakable commitment to success will always triumph any challenge thrown your way no matter what.

3. Apply Overwhelming Force

Don’t just skim the top of the water with your feet. Dive in head first! Tackle this challenge with your full arsenal of weaponry. Attack it from every angle, and don’t ease off the trigger until it’s been completely annihilated.

When I finally decided I was going to earn a living as a professional poker player, I knew that to succeed I would have to learn how to play the incredibly complex game optimally. I also knew that easing into things wasn’t going to help me conquer this challenge, and that I’d have to hit the ground running right away if I was to have any shot at success.

I immediately applied overwhelming force to my learning efforts.

I started reading poker strategy forums tirelessly, tore through tons of books insatiably, played in nearly a thousand online tournaments, studied and analyzed my hand histories endlessly, discussed tough hands with friends that were better than me into the wee hours of the night, and subscribed to a coaching website and watched hundreds of hours of strategy videos created by top professional poker players.

Can you say overkill?

I estimate I spent 10-12 hours a day, 5 days a week for 2 months learning the game. I ate, slept, and breathed poker. As crazy as this regimen might sound, at the end of the 2 month period I had learned the ins and outs of the game more thoroughly than most people would over the course of 2 years. By applying overwhelming force, I significantly shortened my learning curve, and became a strong poker player in a ridiculously short amount of time. The crazy regimen was well worth the reward.

Don’t dawdle around and spend years conquering a challenge. Your burning desire will most likely fizzle out over such an extended period of time. Instead, decide to apply overwhelming force to the rest of the steps listed below, and conquer that challenge as soon as possible!

4. Learn from the Experts

Actively seek out knowledge from experts who have already conquered your challenge. By doing so, your learning curve will shorten significantly, and you’ll absorb the best knowledge simultaneously.

I can’t stress to you enough how important this step is. Every single time I’ve conquered a challenge, a major factor in my success was the knowledge I acquired from experts.

When learning about women and dating, I got hold of all of David DeAngelo’s “Double Your Dating” programs, and gobbled up his knowledge on the subject. I then studied the Mystery Method, and completed Zan Perrion’s Enlightened Seduction program.

While pursuing my spiritual growth, I’ve read many books written by different masters explaining various spiritual pathways. I’ve attended a Vipassana Meditation course. I’ve corresponded regularly with a highly evolved spiritual mentor for over a year.

Whenever I was faced with a challenging exam on a subject I knew little about, I always studied with a friend who already had a great understanding of the material. I didn’t waste my time in study groups with people who only had a cursory understanding of the material at hand. Instead, I aligned myself with the brightest students in the class (the experts), and quickly mastered the material by picking their brain.

Who are the experts that have already conquered the challenge you’re facing now? Buy their books, attend their seminars, follow their instruction, and absorb as much of their knowledge as you possibly can. This will clear your pathway to success.

5. Seek a Thorough Theoretical Understanding

Any challenge you face will have a theoretical component, as well as an application component. Theory is the studying part, while application requires you to put what you’ve learned to the test in the real world. Most people tend to neglect theory, and focus their efforts solely on the application component of the challenge instead. These people think theory and studying are worthless, and that real results are only obtained through constant practice and application.

At face value their belief seems to make sense, but in reality it’s only partially accurate. When you examine it a bit closer you’ll come to realize these people are doing themselves a HUGE disservice by choosing to conquer their challenges with this mindset.

An advanced theoretical understanding will lay the foundation necessary to interpret the valuable lessons you’ll learn while tackling the application component of your challenge. Without the theoretical understanding in place, you won’t be able to extract the valuable lessons yielded by your real world application.

Also, a solid theoretical understanding will enrich the overall experience of conquering your challenge because you’ll understand exactly why you’re getting certain results. By understanding the mechanics at work behind the scenes, you’ll have a much deeper experience than someone else who chooses to neglect the theoretical component of the challenge.

During the Vipassana Meditation course I attended in July, there was an extensive theoretical component, as well as an application component of the practice. Every evening there was a discourse that provided all of the theoretical information we students would need to understand what we were learning.

While most students blew off this aspect of the course and only paid attention to the application component of the meditation, I made it a point to thoroughly understand all of the information the teacher was giving us. I used the time allocated for teacher interviews to ask my teacher as many questions as possible to clear up any confusion I had. As a result I was able to reach a deeper stage of meditation than any of the other new students at the course, and the experience was that much more powerful for me.

6. Apply Your Understanding

While theoretical understanding is crucial to your success in any endeavor, it’s only 50% of the equation. The other 50% of the equation is the application of your theoretical understanding.

Reading books and absorbing the wisdom of experts will only get you so far. At some point you’ll have to apply what you’ve learned, and what you’ll usually find is that while understanding is one thing, application is an entirely different animal.

You may have the best theoretical understanding of a subject in the world, but as soon as you try to apply what you’ve learned you’ll crash and burn just like everybody else. Don’t get discouraged! This is a natural part of the learning process, and has to happen. Invite and appreciate failure because it’s your greatest ally on your pathway to success. Success can only be reached after you’ve failed many, many times.

After crashing and burning a few times, you’ll soon find that your thorough theoretical understanding gives you a distinct advantage in the learning process. You’ll learn from your mistakes much faster, because you’ll understand why they’re happening, and will be able to solve the problems causing them at their roots.

When learning how to play poker, I mistakenly believed that by reading tons of books and watching a lot of strategy videos I would get better in no time without any practice. I figured I would be an expert as soon as I hit the virtual felt because of my conceptual understanding of the game.

Boy was I wrong.

Only once I had played in hundreds of tournaments, made thousands of mistakes, and reviewed countless hand histories did I notice a significant improvement in my poker game. I realized that if I was to succeed in conquering the challenge of earning a living playing poker, I was going to have to spend time studying AND practicing.

Balance your theoretical understanding by applying what you’ve learned, and you’ll find that the learning process is much more efficient than it once was when you lacked this balance.

7. Teach Others What You Have Learned

This is the icing on the cake, the final step in the process of conquering any challenge you choose to face.

Teaching others what you’ve learned is the best way to solidify your understanding of what you’ve learned. Find people who are interested in conquering the same challenge you’re interested in, but who don’t yet have the theoretical understanding necessary to do so. You’ll find that in order to teach these people what you’ve learned you’ll need a much higher level of understanding.

The reason for this is because your “students” will ask you many questions you hadn’t considered while learning the material. Their questions will come from all sorts of angles, and your understanding will really be tested. You probably won’t be able to answer all of their questions, and that’s okay! This process is awesome because it’ll expose concepts you previously overlooked, and will give you a chance to further deepen your understanding of these concepts.

When they ask you questions you already know the answer to, that’s great too! This will drill concepts that you already know further into your head, and your understanding of these concepts will become even better than it was before.

After you’ve spent enough time teaching others what you’ve learned, you’ll find that your level of understanding has skyrocketed to previously unknown levels. Also, the application portion of your challenge will be significantly easier because your excellent theoretical understanding will serve as application’s rock-solid foundation.

Parting Words

So there you have it, my secret formula to conquering any challenge.

As I wrote in the beginning of the article, conquering challenges is my super talent (I identified it using the book “Is Your Genius at Work?”) and I’ve been unconsciously using it for as long as I can remember. I’m extremely glad I’ve finally written out the whole process on paper, and I’m even happier that it’s going to help countless others tackle their most daunting challenges.

Apply this formula, and I assure you that you will successfully tackle any challenge you may face, no matter how tough it may be. Through this article I’ve given you the theoretical understanding you’ll need to make this happen. Now, all you have to do is put it into practice!

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Do you struggle with setting goals, and actually reaching them?

Time and time again you set lofty goals for yourself, only to watch yourself get off track over and over again.

You went on vacation, and there weren’t any healthy meal options available. You took that opportunity to end the torture you were putting yourself through, and stuffed your face with all of the fatty foods you could get your paws on.

Bye-bye new diet!

You were waking up at 6AM for a week straight; until you realized it would require the sacrifice of those late night hang out sessions with your friends to keep it up.

Sayonara sunrise!

You’ve tried and tried over and over again to reach your goals, but for some reason you keep getting distracted along the way.

Well, you can kiss those days goodbye! I present you with the solution to all your goal setting woes.

Focus on how the goal you’ve set improves your life in the present moment, rather than focusing on the hard work and suffering it will take for you to reach it in the future.

Tah dah! It’s really that simple.

How it Changed My Life

Prior to this shift in perspective, I struggled with goal-setting for a long, long time. I had so many challenging changes I wanted to make to my life. But every time I set goals that would help me implement these changes, I would eventually get distracted and fall off track.

I tried writing my goals down and reading them to myself every morning. I tried making my goals measurable and attainable. I used up my entire tank of self-discipline and motivation on the pursuit of reaching my lofty goals.

I still failed over and over again.

I was beginning to think the whole goal-setting process wasn’t for me, when I luckily happened to stumble upon the perspective of “focus on how a goal improves the quality of your present moment” while reading Steve Pavlina’s wonderful new book.

For the longest time I had wanted to create a daily routine that facilitated my productivity throughout the day.

For the longest time I had wanted to hit the gym every morning and do at least 30 minutes of cardio, so I could work my way down to 8% body fat.

For the longest time I had wanted to get back to writing high quality articles for this site, so I could make progress towards creating the career of my dreams.

This new perspective has allowed me to start moving in the direction necessary to reach each of these goals, and I know I’ll reach them this time. My mind is zoned in on how each one improves the quality of my life right now, so there’s no more mental struggle involved. I no longer adopt goals that cause me pain and suffering in the present moment because, well, what’s the point in subjecting myself to such torture in the first place?

No Improvement? Drop it!

This is one of the most important points of this perspective. Stop adopting goals that cause you pain and suffering in the present moment. Instead, adopt goals that improve the quality of your present moment. Sometimes you don’t have to change your goals at all to make this happen. All that may be required is a simple shift in focus.

For example, I used to dread going to the gym every morning and working out because I was always focused on how long it would take me to reach my goal of slimming down to 8% body fat. I was always looking to the future for salvation, while I viewed the present moment as a form of torture. Eventually it required way too much self-discipline for me to keep up my routine, and I gave up.

After applying the new perspective, however, I now focus on how productive and healthy I feel during and after my workout. I know that whenever I decide to head to the gym for some early morning cardio, I will receive immediate benefits. Why wouldn’t I want to hit the gym every morning when I feel this way?

Here’s another example. I used to feel like writing articles for this site was a drag because I was so focused on when I was going to make enough money to support myself with the site’s income. The results didn’t come as soon as I expected, and it wasn’t long before I gave up.

After applying the new perspective, however, I now focus on the awesome feeling I get knowing I’m progressively creating the career of my dreams by writing these articles. I also focus on the amazing feeling I get knowing I’m providing substantial value to my readers. Why wouldn’t I want to write articles for this site when I feel this way?

Examine Your Goals

Write down a list of the goals you want to reach in the next 3 months. While doing so, focus on how each one improves the quality of your present moment.

Does the goal motivate you? Does it inspire you? Does it excite you? Does it make you feel more productive? If you can’t find a reasonable answer to how it improves the quality of your present moment, drop it.

If you already have a list of goals written down somewhere, apply this perspective to each goal on your list. Cross out the goals you feel don’t improve the quality of your present moment, and replace them with new ones that do.

Remember, sometimes all it takes to move a goal from the “torture” column to the “improvement” column is a simple shift of perspective. Can you focus on the aspect of the goal that improves the quality of your present moment, rather than focusing on the aspect that makes it feel like a grind? If this tactic doesn’t work, then obviously you must drop the goal.

Don’t Make it Harder Than it Should Be

Forget about making goals measurable and attainable. Forget about reciting your goals to yourself every morning. Forget about applying and expending tremendous amounts of self-discipline and willpower in the process of reaching your goals.

None of this is necessary.

Choose to focus on how the goals you set improve the quality of your present moment, and you’ll never find it difficult again to stay on track to reaching these goals. There’s nothing we human beings love more than instant gratification, and what better way to give that to yourself day in and day out than to apply this perspective to the pursuit of reaching your goals?

Don’t make reaching your goals harder than it should be. It really is this simple.

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Mental energy is such a precious resource.

It can be used intelligently, and devoted to the process of creating the life of your dreams. Or it can leak away and be wasted while your mind secretly dwells on the demons of your past.

The problem is that until you dispel the demons of your past, a substantial portion of your mental energy will be allocated to them. As a result, you may only have access to only 50 percent of your usable mental energy, instead of the full 100 percent.

Wouldn’t you rather allocate your mental energy as you please, and use it towards completing more important tasks such as, oh I don’t know, writing that book you’ve wanted to get started for the past few years, acing that class you’ve been struggling with the entire semester, or tackling <insert daunting and spectacular project here>?

Answered yes? Keep reading.

My Biggest Demon

In the second grade, about 15 years ago, I decided one Monday that I didn’t feel like being in class for the remainder of the day, so I would devise an intricate plan to get my mom to come and pick me up from school. I told my teacher that I was feeling sick and asked her if I could go to the restroom with the most authentic “sick” face I could possibly muster up. She graciously granted my request.

When I finally got to the restroom, I waited around for a few minutes, washed my hands, and returned explaining to my teacher that I had just spent the last five minutes puking my guts out, and that I had to go home. To top it off, I figured I would be extra tricky and tell her I had been throwing up the last few days at home also, just so she felt extra sorry for me and so that my lie made even more sense.

My mom was there in no time to pick me up, and had a look of confusion on her face when she arrived. In front of my teacher, she asked me how I was perfectly fine that morning, and how I managed to start throwing up just a few hours later. My teacher interjected and asked my mom about me being sick the past few days. My mom told her that she had no idea what I was talking about, and that there must have been a misunderstanding.

There was no misunderstanding. I had definitely lied through my teeth no more than 20 minutes ago.

I walked out of the classroom holding my mom’s hand while looking back at my teacher, and make no mistake about it, she was glaring at me. I flashed a devious smile her way, and was mentally preparing to celebrate my victory over a fun game of Super Mario Brothers.

Round 1 goes to Rahul!

Little did I know, my teacher was determined to win Round 2 and the rest of the subsequent rounds the very next day. I should’ve known better than to get involved in a battle of wits with such a vindictive woman. I would soon find out she didn’t care if I was a 3 foot tall second grader, or a 6 foot tall teacher like her. She would have the final say on this matter.

When I arrived at class the next day sporting an “I’m all better now” look on my face, everything went like it always did; nothing was out of the ordinary. However, as soon as the class settled down, something strange happened. My teacher exclaimed that she had an announcement to make. She called me up to the front of the class.

She wouldn’t dare!

Standing right next to me, she put her hand on my shoulder and announced to the class that I was a liar, and that I shouldn’t be trusted because of what I did the day before. Immediately everyone started chanting LIAR, LIAR! I busted into tears, searching for sympathy and consolation from my classmates. There was none to be had.

It was the most humiliating moment of my entire life, and at the time I felt incredibly angry and embarrassed. I was wondering how a woman as old as her could do something like this to a kid as young as me. I thought adults were supposed to be compassionate and mature, not vindictive and retaliatory. What was she trying to prove by humiliating me in front of the whole class?

For the rest of the year my nickname was “The Liar”, and none of my friends ever really trusted me again. Fortunately for me, my family moved the next year and I transferred to a new school.

Everyone Has Their Share of Demons

This experience hardly seems like a “demon” to me now, but when it actually happened 15 years ago it was a huge deal to me. Rather than facing and dealing with this experience emotionally when I was 7 years old, my mind has slowly absorbed and filed away the pain associated with it over time. This doesn’t mean the memory ceases to exist in my mind, and it doesn’t mean the negative energy associated with it has dissipated on its own as I’ve grown older.

We all have disagreeable things happen to us at all stages of our lives, and many times we are unprepared to deal with the wave of emotions we feel when these things happen. The mind has developed a coping mechanism to deal with such experiences to ensure mental and emotional stability in the future.

Given this truth, everyone should give the exercise outlined in this article a fair chance. Empty your mind of any preconceived notions or beliefs you may have for a short amount of time while you give the exercise a try.  Don’t attempt to intellectualize the process, just dive right in and see if it works for you.

Objectify Your Demons

Disclaimer: If you decide to complete the exercise outlined below, take note that it can be a highly emotional process.  If you do plan on completing the exercise, please make sure you are in the appropriate state of mind to deal with the “demons” of your past. If you find that you aren’t in the right state of mind, come back later and do the exercise when you feel more prepared to do so. If necessary, seek the help of a trained mental health professional or spiritual guru to guide you along with the process. This is a very serious process and it should be treated as such.

As long as the demons of your past stay filed away in the depths of your subconscious mind they will continue to wreak havoc on your supply of mental energy. You must learn to objectify your demons, and bring them to the surface of your consciousness. Once you’ve managed to do this, you must befriend these demons, neutralize their parasitic effect on your mind, and then neatly file them away in your mind’s database of memories.

Here’s how you do it.

Exercise: A Trip Down Memory Lane

Lie down or sit somewhere you can get comfortable and relax your entire body. Close your eyes and allow your mind to wander for a minute or so.

Now, rewind through your memory, and pull up the most painful memory in your past that you can find into your mental movie theater. Preferably, it should be an element of your past you haven’t come to terms with yet. If you don’t have the courage to face such a painful memory just yet, choose one that isn’t quite as painful for now.

Once you’ve pulled the memory up, attempt to relive it to the best of your ability. Absorb yourself in the memory; let it play out exactly as it did when it actually happened. If you can’t remember all of the small details, remember whatever you can and stay focused on reliving the memory as accurately as possible.

Notice anything peculiar? Are you feeling some of the emotions and sensations you experienced when the actual event took place? Maybe you’re feeling an equally powerful sensation or emotion as you did when the original event took place. Allow yourself to fully experience this emotional feedback. Decide that you’re not going to run away from it any longer. Understand that as long as you run from this memory, it will have power over you and will continue to sap you of your precious mental energy.

The emotions and sensations you are experiencing are in reality a tied up supply of mental energy. The stronger the emotional feedback, the more tied up mental energy the memory contains. The key to regaining this mental energy is to negate the emotional charge associated with the painful memory. The way to do this is by repeatedly exposing yourself to it.

Now that you’ve run through the memory once, run through it again. And then run through it again and again and again. What you’ll start to find is that the charge associated with the memory slowly begins to diminish, until it eventually disappears entirely.

Relief

When I relived my most painful memory for the first time, it stung almost as painfully as when it actually happened 15 years ago. Feelings of anger, embarrassment, and humiliation immediately resurfaced. It was fascinating to observe how something that happened so long ago still had such a deep effect on me.

After neutralizing the charge of the memory by running through it many times, I felt incredibly relieved. It was like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders, and I was free to move around again as I pleased. I quickly figured out that if I were to continue applying this process to all of the memories in my past with a charge, no matter how small the charge, I would free up a considerable amount of mental energy in no time.

I’ve been using this process for over a year now, and let me tell you, it’s made a HUGE difference in my life. I now have more mental energy at my disposal to delegate to important tasks. Emotionally, I’m more stable. My focus has enhanced considerably. I’m more productive and things get done faster and more efficiently than ever before.

Don’t Just Sit There, Give It a Try

Regaining conscious control over the allocation of your mental energy is not the easiest of processes, but trust me, it’s definitely one of the most rewarding processes you can commit to. There will be a night and day difference between your productive capacities before and after going through this much needed tune-up.

Afterwards, you’ll notice life flows better than it used to, because you will be able to concentrate a larger portion of your mental energy towards your most important tasks. For example, these words simply flow out of my fingers without much conscious thought, while prior to going through the tune-up process myself, these articles were much more tedious for me to write (which was half of the reason I gave up a year ago).

Of course, after completing the process numerous times you’ll occasionally identify a demon of your past you happened to overlook the first few times around. But when that time comes you’ll be prepared to deal with the demon consciously and come to terms with it, no longer allowing it eat up your precious mental energy. It’s an ongoing purification process, and as you face and neutralize more and more demons of your past, you’ll gain greater access to your usable mental energy. You’ll finally have the ability to allocate it as you see fit.

Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? Now get in that movie theater, and start watching some of your old personal faves and make it happen! :)

Please do share your experiences after completing the exercise outlined above. I’m very interested to see how it may have helped you, and what benefits you experienced after freeing up some of your mental energy. Plus, others will get to see that I’m not the only quack this process has worked for.

Stay tuned for Part 2, which I will post in the near future. The article will be on how to free up mental energy by addressing areas of stress in your life. While this article deals with demons of the past, the next article will focus on the demons of the present and how to identify and face them courageously.

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“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.”

- James Allen

The above statement is a truth most people realize later than sooner, and sometimes never at all.

These powerless people spend their whole life looking to someone else to give them direction, handle their problems, and assure them everything will be okay and work out the way it’s supposed to.

But for some reason, their desired results never manifest in reality. Sure enough, after it’s too late these poor souls come to realize they squandered their chance to live the life of their dreams simply because they refused to accept total responsibility for their results.

Be completely honest with yourself when you answer the following question.

Are you one of these people?

• Do you believe that in miraculous fashion, the results you desire will appear out of thin air without putting your nose to the ground and consciously creating them yourself?

• Do you constantly turn the other cheek when faced with an important task or area of your life requiring urgent attention and think to yourself I’ll get to it later, it’ll be okay until then?

• Do you attempt to delegate your responsibility to someone else by constantly blaming others for your persistent mediocrity and failures?

How the hell am I so good at diagnosing the symptoms of a classic case of Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome (RRS)?

Because up until recently, I suffered from a case of the same syndrome myself!

How I Came to the Realization

About a month ago, as I was reading Steve Pavlina’s brilliant book for the very first time, it suddenly dawned upon me that my life looked nothing like the dream life I had spent so much time imagining. Even worse, I realized that if I continued down the path I was on at that moment in time any longer, there was absolutely NO WAY I would ever create something even CLOSE to resembling the life of my dreams.

I began to investigate the cause of my less than spectacular results, and after much deliberation I finally ran head first into the source of all of my problems.

Subconsciously I believed my parents would always make sure everything would be alright, and that they would take care of me and accept responsibility for the areas of my life I chose to turn away from.

No! This couldn’t be. Here I was thinking that for the last 21 years of my life I was the master and commander of my ship, while in reality I was subconsciously sabotaging my results by relinquishing my responsibility to my parents the whole time.

So THAT’S what my Dad has been babbling on about for the last three years. Oooooooh!

As soon as I realized this truth, no other action was required on my part. It was an absolutely HUGE insight that had an immediate and drastic effect on the way I looked at my life.

• No longer did I look to my parents to tell me what needed to be done.

• No longer did I turn the other cheek to the ugly reality of my situation, thinking it would all sort itself out in time.

• No longer did I wait around for the results I desired to manifest in my reality.

I immediately started taking action. I put my nose to the ground and started 30 day trials for new habits I wished to form. I changed my career back to one centered in purpose, passion, and contribution. I created a new daily routine that facilitated my productivity on a day-to-day basis. I made an active effort to ensure the relationships in my life were empowering and of high quality.

I realized that no one else has to live with the results in my life except for me. I can complain to people until their ears fall off, but at the end of the day they can leave my life behind and go back to wherever they came from. I don’t have that luxury.

Neither do you.

Taking Back Control of Your Results

Take a moment to look around and investigate the state of your reality.

Are you proactively creating the life of your dreams by consciously accepting complete responsibility for your results?

If your answer to the above question is yes, but for some reason the results haven’t shown up yet, then ask yourself:

Five, ten, or twenty years down the line will the path that I’m on right now lead me to a life filled with the results I desire?

If the answer to this question is no, then it’s time to do a self-diagnosis for Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome. If you skipped it the first time around, scroll back up to the bulleted and bolded questions at the beginning of the article and answer each one as honestly as you possibly can.

If after answering these questions you come to realize that you haven’t been accepting responsibility for your results up until now, then you should be feeling the immediate need to take action and change things up. If you don’t feel a sense of urgency, and you aren’t instantly able to see the connection between responsibility and results, nothing has changed and you haven’t deeply realized the truth of your situation.

Keep exploring the source of your Relinquished Responsibility Syndrome until you find the answer that gives you an AH HA! moment. It should make you want to get off your ass and start fixing your life right away.

Remember, no one else has to live with the results in your life except for you. Accept this truth, and you will find that manifesting the results you desire is much easier. No longer will you constantly sabotage your efforts by relinquishing responsibility for your results to someone else. That brings us back to Mr. James Allen and his words of infinite wisdom.

Sooner or later you will realize that you are the master-gardener of your soul, the director of your life.

Let’s make it sooner rather than later.

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As I was eating my cereal this morning, I started pondering an interesting question.

Is there a way to lead a totally stress free life?

I’m the kind of guy that’s always looking for a way to lead a more relaxed, easygoing, and enjoyable life. Stress throws a monkey wrench in the mix, and stands in the way of my attempts to achieve this lifestyle.

Stress is our bodies’ natural response to not living in the present moment. Whenever we worry about the past or the future and fight the present moment, we feel stressed out. The key to relieving ourselves from stress is to become fully absorbed in the present moment.

Here are a few methods I use to help reduce the stress of the day-to-day grind.

1. Be present: Whenever you’re feeling stressed out, take a minute or two to completely absorb yourself in the present moment. Pay close attention to all five of your senses, and focus on the stimulus your body is taking in. How does the seat you’re sitting on feel? Is it cold or warm in the room? Notice all of the colors around the room. Notice every sound in your environment. What do you smell? How would you describe the taste in your mouth? Allowing yourself to be absorbed in the present moment is one of the most relaxing things you can do, even if for only a few minutes, because it silences the chatterbox in your mind.
2. Meditate: This is the same idea as being present, except I like to think of it as for an extended period of time, although it doesn’t have to be. I normally take 30 minutes in the morning to meditate. It gradually alleviates any stress I’m feeling at the time. See my article ‘Introduction to Meditation’ if you’re unfamiliar with the concept of meditation. Once you begin meditating, be patient. It’s a skill which takes a lifetime to master, but it’s a journey like any other activity you take up. Each step along the way is rewarding, and as you progress, new doors will open for you. At first you may experience only relaxation, but as you get better at meditation, it may transform into a spiritual endeavor that is a significant source of joy in your life.
3. Do work that you love: This is a major point. If you’re spending 8 hours a day doing work that you don’t love for the sake of paying the bills, your life is bound to be stressful. Every day will be a drag, and you’ll never be able to relax. I know this is tough to chew on, but if you’re currently working a job you don’t love you’ve got to make some changes. The only way you will ever be able to lead a stress free life is to do work that you love.
4. Leisure time: Set aside time for leisurely activities. I know, I know, everyone is so focused on productivity these days, and engaging in leisurely activities can be seen as “wasteful.” However, leisure time is critical to productivity in that it keeps you from burning out. Many motivation, productivity, and success gurus call this process “sharpening the saw” because of its rejuvenating qualities. Working and being “productive” all the time can be highly stressful. Spend time with family, go out to a movie, take a long walk, go swimming, do anything to escape the hustle and bustle of daily life. And while you’re doing it, focus your complete attention on the activity at hand. Become fully absorbed in whatever it is you’re doing. You deserve the break. What you’ll find is you are much more relaxed after taking some time off to sharpen your saw, and you’ll be more productive while doing your work.
5. Acceptance: Often times we are stressed out by circumstances in our external environment that are outside of our control. Whenever you find yourself stressed out in response to your current situation, realize that you’re not accepting things for what they are. Don’t fight against the present moment; it is what it is. The more you fight it, the more stressed out you will become. Read my article ‘How to Stop Wasting your Mental Energy’ for some useful tips on how to accept the present moment as it is.

Achieving Permanence

Our end goal is to be in a state of present moment awareness permanently. In this ideal state of mind, we will be completely free of stress. I’ve by no means reached this state of mind, but it is one of my ultimate long term goals.

As I make progress, I’m sure I will identify more methods to alleviate my stress, and when I do you can be sure I’ll share it with my readers! Please share any of your own stress-relief tips in the comments section below. I’m interested to read what you have to say.

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“Most of our energy goes into upholding our importance… If we were capable of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would happen to us. One, we would free our energy from trying to maintain the illusory idea of our grandeur; and two, we would provide ourselves enough energy to… catch a glimpse of the actual grandeur of the universe.”

- Don Juan in the Art of Dreaming

Have you ever experienced THAT “draining” feeling?

You know the one I’m talking about.

The one where you feel like all of your mental energy is being sucked out of you and you can’t seem to figure out why.

I’ve experienced this feeling many times, and I always feel powerless when it starts to happen.  How are we supposed to rid ourselves of this parasitic force if we don’t even know what causes it to happen?

Don’t lose all hope just yet. There is a solution I’ve managed to stumble upon.

The Law of Least Effort

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been heavily involved in spiritual study. One of the tenets of spirituality is “The Law of Least Effort.” What this law states is that the people who prosper in life are those who can extend beyond their ego, accept the present moment for what it is, and accept responsibility for what they’ve created. By doing so, they conserve the massive amount of energy tied to maintaining the ego, fighting the present moment, and blaming their circumstances on other people and things in their environment.

Understanding this, I found the cure for that familiar “draining” feeling we discussed before.

• I realized how much mental energy I was wasting trying to “uphold my importance,” as Don Juan stated in his quote above.
• I realized how much mental energy I was wasting trying to fight the present moment, and not accepting it for what it really was.
• I realized how much mental energy I was wasting by not accepting responsibility for the circumstances in my life.

Refrain from engaging in these draining practices, and the end result is more mental energy at your disposal that can be put to good use.

Three Ways to Regain Your Mental Energy

1. Accept the present moment for what it is: The present is simply a reflection of all of our past thoughts, choices, and actions. There is nothing we can do right now to change the present moment; however there is something we can do right now to change the next moment in our future. In my article Leave the Past Behind, I explain how to release yourself from the burden of your past, and how to gain acceptance for the present moment as it is.
2. Accept responsibility for your circumstances: As long as we choose to blame the circumstances in our life on people and things in our external environment, we remain powerless to change these circumstances. We become the victims of our external environment, and in the process expend a tremendous amount of mental energy complaining about the lack of control over our lives. Only by understanding that the circumstances in your life are your responsibility will you be able to regain control over your life. You can then be proactive, and consciously improve the quality of your life by acting responsibly in the present.
3. Defenselessness: People waste so much energy defending their point of view. Why waste time doing this? What’s the point? While you are trying to uphold your importance in other people’s eyes and in your own, you’re wasting precious mental energy. By releasing yourself from the need to defend your point of view, you regain lost mental energy.

Where Do You Stand?

Take a deep look at yourself. Are you struggling against the present moment? Do you accept responsibility for the circumstances in your life? Do you constantly defend your point of view, and try to uphold your sense of importance?

If so, decide to adopt the mental practices listed above and feel the heavy weight lift off of your shoulders. That familiar draining feeling we talked about will soon be a thing of the past, and you will have access to an enormous amount of mental energy you’ve never had before.

What you do with this mental energy hereafter is up to you. I recommend that you put it to good use, and dedicate it towards a worthy cause, something that makes a significant contribution to this world.

This article was inspired by The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success by Deepak Chopra.

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“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

- Anonymous

Take a look around. What do you see?

Here’s a hint. You’re looking at the past.

The past creates this present moment. You’ve arrived here as a result of your past choices, thoughts, feelings, and actions. When you accept this as truth you gain the ability to move forward, and can make calculated choices in the present to improve your life in the future.

Isn’t this common sense? Apparently not.

For some reason there are STILL tons of people who carry with them the pains and shortcomings of yesterday. I must admit, I sometimes find it difficult to leave yesterday’s baggage behind. However, each time this tendency rears its head, I remind myself that if I look to the past to determine what I should do today, I will only create more of the same in the future.

That’s not exactly what I’m looking for out of my life.

I’m looking to constantly grow, and improve the quality of my life, and I’m assuming you are too, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this site. To escape the endless cycle of recreating your past you must make different choices today than you did yesterday. By living in the moment, while being conscious of where you want to be in the future, you gain the ability to make empowering decisions right now that free you from the prison of your past.

Easier said than done, right? Not if we make a few simple shifts in mindset.

Acceptance is the First Step

Accept yourself as you are.

As long as you condemn yourself for your situations, actions, and results in the past, you will never be free to consciously improve the quality of your life today or in the future. Realize that no matter what has happened in your past, that yesterday’s results do not dictate today’s or tomorrow’s results.

Understand that no matter how dire your situation is, there is someone somewhere in the world that has it worse than you do. Your problems aren’t so bad after all, now are they? Accept what you’ve been given in life, and make the most of what you’ve been given.

Ask yourself the questions below, and be completely honest with yourself when answering them. Knowing your answers to these questions is essential in accepting the present moment for what it is.

• How am I letting the situations, choices, and results in my past influence the quality of my situations, choices, and results in the present?
• How am I using the past as an excuse to justify my inaction in the present?

Once you answer these questions, choose to accept your life for what it is, and realize that today is a new day. Choose to no longer hide behind the past as an excuse to justify your lack of results in the present. Choose to be grateful for the fact that at any moment you can move towards creating the life of your dreams, regardless of your results in the past.

The Power of Conscious Choice

In this moment you have an infinite number of choices at your disposal. Each choice will somehow affect your life in the future, whether it’s 10 seconds from now, or 10 years from now. Stop deciding which choice to make by referencing your past. So what if you were a student yesterday? You can dropout today if you were so inclined.

In this moment, you can make a choice that is completely out of line with what you identify with and temporarily become someone else.

Just because you were a fearful, insecure human being yesterday doesn’t mean you have to be one today. You can choose to be a courageous, comfortable person in this moment by making a choice in line with that mindset. And you can continue to make that choice 30 seconds from now, 20 minutes from now, 1 week from now, and 1 year from now. It’s simply a choice you make.

Here’s a formula to illustrate the power of conscious choice:

Past results + past choices + past actions = past results over and over again

Or

Past results + new choices + new actions = new results over and over again

You ultimately decide where you are going to get the information necessary to make your decisions in the present. Are you going to look to your past, and create more of the same? Or are you going to execute around your vision, and create the life of your dreams?

Your Past Got You Here

When you look at where you are right now in your life, you are essentially looking into the past. When I first learned this concept, it had a profound impact on me. I realized I was constantly observing myself in each moment, and deciding that was who I was going to be tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that. As we discussed earlier in this article, doing this will ultimately lead to creating the same results in your life over and over again.

Acknowledge that the way you look, the way you think, your financial status, the quality of your relationships, and what you are doing with your life are all a mirror of your past decisions, thoughts, and actions. Who you are today is yesterday’s business. You can change everything in your life at any moment because every single day is a new beginning!

You may be thinking it’s impossible to refrain from observing yourself in the present moment. How can you run away from who you are right now? To do so would require some sort of self-deception, right?

That depends on how you view the present moment.

Each Moment as an Animation

If you view this moment as a still image of your life, then yes, it would be impossible to stop observing yourself all the time. But what if you saw the present moment as an animation, a picture in motion, if you will? If this were the case, what would happen to the way you see yourself?

You would be free from looking into the past whenever you observe who you are in the present moment.

Confused yet? This example should clear up any confusion.

Let’s say you look down at your body, and you see an overweight and unattractive person. Noticing this, you feel depressed, and you continue to make the choices that landed you where you are now in the first place. You recreate your past each day, and you remain overweight and unattractive. This perception of yourself is based on the belief that each moment is a still image.

What if you looked at this moment as an animation instead?

You would look down at your body, and see an overweight and unattractive person. Noticing this, you understand that where you are today is a result of your past choices and actions. You feel powerful in knowing that you can choose to change your results right now, and see your current situation as an animation. You see yourself as the overweight and unattractive person you are right now, while also see yourself getting thinner and more attractive in your mind’s eye. Therefore, your perception of your physical appearance is now an animation. It’s a direction you are moving. It’s a moment in motion.

I view the present in this way, and let me tell you; it’s a much more empowering mindset. Regardless of where I am today, I know I am getting better and better in each moment because my animation is moving in a positive direction. By adopting this mindset, I’ve noticed the results in my life are improving rapidly. My relationships are getting stronger, my physical appearance is improving, I feel much more content, and I’m forging a stronger spiritual connection.

Try this frame of mind out for a few weeks, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly the results in your life will change.

Become a Conscious Creator

By realizing you have the power to change your results in life simply by making different choices today than you did yesterday, you become a conscious creator of your reality. You develop the power to create the life of your dreams, and ultimately liberate yourself from the confines of your past.

You’ll no longer feel as though you’re a helpless product of fate and misfortune. Instead, you will have faith and confidence in knowing that your life is silently improving while you continue to look to the future and execute around your vision.

As Emile Coué once said, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”

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“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

- Stephen Covey

Have you ever ended your day feeling great, knowing you got a lot done? If so, did this feeling of accomplishment come from the completion of a sequence of urgent tasks, or did it come from the completion of a number of important tasks?

Did you take care of the laundry, do the dishes, watch your favorite TV show, check your e-mail 20 times, and pay the bills? Or did you spend time contributing to your vision and purpose in a variety of different ways?

Now that I’ve got you thinking about your day, I want you to ponder another question. How many of the tasks you complete on a typical day will benefit you 2 years from now? 5 years from now? 10 years from now? For the rest of your life?

How many of your tasks fit the criteria? Two? Five? Ten? None?

Time to Optimize

The first time I did this exercise, I was shocked to realize nearly 80% of the tasks I completed during the day were urgent tasks. Completing them gave me a feeling of accomplishment, but they provided only short term benefit. This was my wake up call. I said to myself, “Rahul, it’s time to optimize!” I decided I would focus on more important tasks throughout the day, and put the urgent tasks on the backburner.

This is a process known as “paying yourself first.” The important tasks will contribute to your growth, and in the long run will drastically change your life. The urgent tasks must be handled, but they should only be handled once you’ve completed the important tasks. My task ratio is now made up of 80% important tasks and 20% urgent tasks (because they have to be taken care of sooner or later).

Before you can begin to optimize and focus your attention on the important tasks in your life, you need to first be able to define what’s “important” to you. How do you go about doing this? To start with, you need to have a clear vision of where you’re headed. If you have no idea where you want to be in the future, there’s no way you will be able to decide what steps you need to take today to get there. My article, Create a Powerful Vision, details this process. Please read the article if you haven’t done so already. It will give you the foundation necessary to get the most out of this article.

Execute Around Your Vision

To realize my vision of reforming the education system to help people realize their true potential, I’ve created a detailed action plan. If you read my post on How to Set Challenging Goals, and Reach them, you will know what kind of action plan I am referring to. To fulfill my ultimate vision, there are a number of challenging goals I must achieve along the way.

• I must continuously invest in my own personal development so I can serve as a role model others willingly follow
• I must develop a method or a medium to reach out to a substantial amount of people at one time
• I must transform myself into a role model of high character, so I can inspire others to build their own character
• I must become effective at making a huge impact on people’s lives in a short amount of time, using only a few words
• Finally, I must realize my own true potential before I am able to help others realize theirs

There are certain things I must do on a daily basis to ensure that I am making progress towards attaining these goals. The daily habits I’ve created for myself are:

• Read consciousness raising material for at least 1 hour
• Meditate for 15-30 minutes
• Work on completing a blog article
• Continue reading a personal development book
• Do 30 minutes of cardio every single morning
• Visualize for 15 minutes
• Write down my goals for the next day the night before
• Keep track of my day in 15 minute intervals in an excel spreadsheet
• Take time to connect with nature in some way

Of course these habits are subject to change over time, but for now, that’s what I’m working with. As new opportunities make themselves available to me, I will build upon this list. As of right now, I’m finding blogging to be an effective medium for reaching out to people. I know I have the potential to reach out and change many lives through my writing. Ultimately, I will get into speaking, and hope to rally people to my cause in a Martin Luther King, Jr. fashion.

What goals do you have to attain in order to translate your ultimate vision into a reality? What things do you have to do every day to ensure you’re making progress towards making your vision real? Ask yourself these questions, and if you can, create a detailed action plan. This will give you a tremendous amount of clarity towards what you should be doing each day. Instead of wasting most of your time on urgent tasks, you will begin to focus on the important tasks in life that will bring you closer to making your vision a reality.

Have a More Powerful “Yes”

Distractions are for those who lack vision and purpose in life. Purposeful people don’t waste their time, because they’re too busy making progress towards achieving their goals. Purposeful people can easily say “no” to something out of line with their vision, because they have a more powerful “yes” driving them to action.

Here’s some food for thought. If you watch 4 hours of television per day, over the course of a year that equals 2 months of time spent watching TV. Imagine sitting in front of the TV for two months straight each year. I’m assuming you would feel pretty wasteful, wouldn’t you? Apply this formula to any purposeless action you are committed to in life, and observe the staggering result of time wasted. Make the decision right now to stop wasting your time on things that won’t benefit you in the long run. Choose to put urgent tasks on the backburner.

Identify the more powerful “yes” in your life, and don’t let the urgent tasks pull you away from your cause. Choose to focus on what’s important, and be purposeful in your actions. Buddha once said, “A jug fills drop by drop.” Let’s make sure we are actually filling the jug, and not clumsily splattering water on the table. Carry out the daily habits in line with achieving your goals, and take note of that peculiar feeling beginning to tingle inside of you.

The feeling of true productivity.

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“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.”

- John Updike

Close your eyes and imagine the life of your dreams.

Actually see it through your own eyes. Touch it. Hear it. Smell it. Taste it.

How do you feel? How would you describe your character? Where are you living? What kind of car are you driving? How would you describe your relationships with your loved ones? Are you spiritual? Are you famous? Rich? Content? Perhaps you’re a great philanthropist, or an internationally acclaimed author and speaker. Maybe you’re a rock star, or a professional athlete.

You may be thinking, “Rahul, these are just dreams. Everyone dreams big, but their dreams hardly ever come true.” I’ll let you in on a little secret. Dreams do come true if you believe you have the power to make them come true. The very fact that you have them means you have the ability to make them real. The catch is you’ll have to do a few things on a daily basis to make this happen.

My Vision

My ultimate vision is to create a new education system that fosters growth of character and helps students realize their true potential. I know this is a lofty goal. It won’t be easy to introduce a new education system into a society so deeply invested in its current system. However, I’m confident I will make this vision a reality as long as I focus on it every day.

Each night before I go to bed, I close my eyes and I see myself interacting with thousands of eager students at one of my schools. I hear the students typing notes on their laptops. I see them listening to my instruction intently. I observe the beautiful auditorium I’m lecturing in. I notice I feel amazing because I am changing people’s lives for the better. I feel gracious for the opportunity to make a difference.

Keep in mind; I’m seeing and feeling all of this through my own eyes. I am living in my vision.

What I’ve found is that by simply holding my vision in my mind on a daily basis, the results in my life are changing. I’m finding myself being able to reach out to more people. I’m beginning to generate income off of this blog. My character is beginning to change for the better. My connection with my loved ones is becoming stronger. I feel more gracious for being alive. Slowly but surely, my vision is becoming my reality. I know it’s only a matter of time before all of the other pieces of my vision fall into place.

Exercise: Creating Your Vision

Let’s start with an exercise. Please make sure you actually do this exercise. It’s critical to your understanding of the rest of the article.

Write down your vision. Make three lists. Write down what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have. Next, organize each item on your lists in order of importance. If you’re having trouble doing this, ask yourself, “If I could only be, have, or do one thing on my list, what would it be?” Ask yourself this question each step along the way.

Once you’re done, look at your list. What you’re staring at are the most critical elements of your dream that you wish to make real, in order of importance.

Live Your Vision

The great thing about a vision is that it can be pulled up in your mental movie theater at any time. You can live it while at the gym on the treadmill, or while in your car waiting at a stoplight. You can live it while you’re lying in bed, or while you’re cooking dinner. It makes no difference where you are; all you have to do is allow yourself to be absorbed in your vision for a few moments.

The primary times you will want to “live” your vision are at night before you go to sleep and in the morning right when you wake up. These are the times when your mind is most receptive to conscious influence. Close your eyes and visualize the life of your dreams. Imagine yourself being, having, and doing all of the things you wrote down on your three lists.

Actually live your vision through your own eyes. Take note of how you feel when you’re driving your dream car. Get absorbed in the feeling of knowing you’re making a profound impact on the world. Hear the sounds of birds chirping while you sit on the patio of your dream home. Feel the jubilation of sharing close connections with your loved ones.

The key is to fall in love with your vision. The easiest way to do this is to constantly add more detail to your vision. What decorative artifacts do you have around your house? What kind of outfits do you have in your closet? When you look down at your body, what do you see? What’s the weather like where you live? Pay attention to the smallest of details.

It’s only a matter of time before you make this highly detailed vision your reality.

Why It Works

How do you explain this phenomenon?

The answer is the subconscious mind.

Your subconscious mind influences the feelings and thoughts you have throughout your day. These feelings and thoughts then influence the actions you take, which in turn creates your habits; thereby forging your character and destiny.

When you choose to visualize on a regular basis, you are choosing to directly influence your subconscious mind. The subconscious cannot distinguish between what is real, and what is not real. That’s the job of your conscious mind. If you’re consciously visualizing in vivid detail, the subconscious mind will accept your vision as real the deal, and will immediately begin influencing your thoughts and feelings to act in line with this “reality”.

These thoughts and feelings will inspire you to take the action necessary to create your vision in the physical universe. Hard to believe? Take a look around, and you’ll notice many of the most successful people in our world today use the power of vision to create the life of their dreams.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was invigorated by his vision of an American society based in equality.  I don’t have to explain how this one became real, do I? Steve Jobs envisioned a life of passion, contribution, and love for his work. Apple and Pixar were the result. Gandhi’s idea of a free India began as a vision in his mind. India is free today, and has been for the last 50 years.

Highly successful athletes use visualization on a regular basis to enhance the quality of their performance. Olympic gymnasts are taught to lie on their tumbling mats prior to performance, and visualize themselves in the middle of an incredible performance. Peyton Manning visualizes composure in tense situations, and sees himself winning every game before he sets foot on the field. Tiger Woods visualizes each and every golf swing before he hits the ball.

It’s no wonder these people are so successful at what they do.

Make Your Vision Work For You

Make the commitment to visualize the life of your dreams at least once a day, preferably in the morning when you wake up, or at night before you go to sleep. Imagine it in vivid detail, and make it as real as you possibly can. Fall in love with it. Visualize every small detail just how you want it to be.

If you can, pull your vision into your mental movie theater more often. Live a portion of your vision while waiting at the doctor’s office, or while waiting in the elevator. Remember to see it through your own eyes. Use every opportunity you can to fire yourself up with your vision. Take it with you every where you go.

If you’re willing to make the commitment to visualize the life of your dreams each day, and do this for the rest of your life, you will begin to see profound results. Your reality will look more and more like your vision over time. One day you’ll look back and see that the actions and decisions you made in the past created the life of your dreams in the present moment. You’ll understand, just as the most successful people in history understood, that the power of vision has worked for you.

I’m excited to hear about your vision, and how the power of vision has worked for you. Please share your experiences by posting a comment below or by contacting me.

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The easiest thing for you to to do is to blame your circumstances on something or someone other than yourself.

Someone makes you mad. The professor made the test difficult, so you failed. Your boss is inconsiderate, and that’s why you didn’t get a raise. Your girlfriend/boyfriend didn’t understand you, and this made you break up with him/her.

Sound familiar?

You’re in Control

It sure sounds familiar to me. Up until a few weeks ago, I would’ve considered myself a reactive person. Something in my environment was always pushing me around. My parents didn’t understand me. My friends said ridiculous things that made me upset. School was making me miserable. My environment was affecting my performance.

I felt like I had no choice.

My emotions and results in life were highly dependent on external circumstances. This reactive cycle may have continued for the rest of my life if I hadn’t picked up The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People from the bookstore.

One of the chapters in the book is titled “Be Proactive.” This is Covey’s first principle of effectiveness. All highly effective, independent people are proactive. These people don’t dwell on the aspects of their environment they have no control over. Instead, they live within their “Circle of Influence”, where they have the power to take action.

For example, a reactive person would say “My boss didn’t give me a raise, what an inconsiderate fool!” While a proactive person would ask himself, “How can I take on more work and capitalize on the available opportunities so that my boss will have no choice but to give me a raise?” See the difference? The proactive person works within his “Circle of Influence,” while the reactive person hands off his responsibility to his external environment.

Are you reactive or proactive?

Be “Response-able”

We all have the ability to consider the infinite number of choices we face when a new situation comes our way. Instead of being reactive, and acting out the first thing that comes to mind, let’s focus on being proactive and responding to the situation in the best possible manner.

You may be asking, “What’s the difference?”

There’s a huge difference!

If you are reactive, you won’t think about your response to a situation. If someone says something “offensive” to you, you may yell back at them without considering your options. If you fail a test, you may immediately get upset and blame the teacher for not teaching you properly.

If you are proactive, however, you will understand there are many choices available in each situation. Knowing this, you will take the time to pause when a situation arises, and calculate the appropriate response. For example, if someone says something “offensive” to you, you’ll understand you have a choice whether you will find it “offensive” or not. If you fail a test, you stop and think about what you did wrong, and how you can do better on the next test. Essentially, you are being responsible for your results in life.

Think of being responsible as being “response-able.” It means you are able to stop, think, and respond to situations in the best possible manner. You are able to put a wall between external circumstance, and internal state of mind. Think of it as a holding chamber where all external stimuli are held until you decide how to respond to them.

All of us have the ability to respond. In order to exercise this ability more often, we simply need to raise our awareness to how we are dealing with circumstances that come our way. The next time you feel that impulse to react, choose to stop and think. Consider all of your options, and then choose the best option available.

Making the Transition

Shifting from a reactive mindset to a proactive mindset won’t happen over night. It will take conscious effort on your part to make the transition; however, the results are definitely worth the effort.

Instead of letting life push you around, you will give life a taste of its own medicine and gain more control over your results. The quality of your life (physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, relationally) will improve because you will realize many of those “problems” that were previously out of your control are actually well within your “Circle of Influence.”

To help with the transition, here are some of the questions you should start asking yourself right now (in parenthesis are examples of ways to be proactive in each area):

• In what areas of my life am I currently handing off my response-ability to my external environment?
• Physically how can I be more proactive in my life (start hitting the gym, change my diet)?
• Mentally how can I be more proactive in my life (pick up a new activity which is intellectually challenging, find friends to have intriguing discussion with, build character)?
• Spiritually how can I be more proactive in my life (learn meditation, study religions, read a book on spirituality)?
• Emotionally how can I be more proactive in my life (consciously get rid of emotionally draining circumstances and people)?
• Relationally how can I be more proactive in my life (spend more time with loved ones, make more time to go out and meet people)?

In addition to asking yourself these questions, start paying attention to how you handle every situation that comes your way. Are you choosing to react impulsively, or are you choosing to stop, think, and respond to each situation that arises?

Raising your awareness to your own actions will speed up the transition from a reactive mindset to a proactive mindset tremendously. It won’t be long before you are exerting more influence on your life, and reaping the benefits of a life that is a result of your own calculated action.

Cheers to that!

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